2/23/17

I sometimes wonder what the world would be like

If I was the main protagonist in a story

Would I save the world?

Would I fall in love?? 

There is an endless plethora of possibilities.

My biggest question is...

Would you be by my side? 

Or the opposing force I work against?
Would we rendezvous secretly and let our love win?

Or would you let me crash to the ground while you destroy me?

The answer is yours alone,but I would like to know one day.

Deadly Silence

"You aren't good enough."

"Why don't you ever.."

"Can't you just.."

Words as weapons are her kryptonite

"Can I go on?"

"Is it worth it?"

"Do I really matter?"

She questioned herself everyday

"I love you."
"I need you."
"I miss you."

Words she wanted to believe

Nobody saw what she was going through

They saw her smile and believed it

But if they had looked closer?

They would see just how broken she truly was

"It hurts.."
"I can't feel anything."

"I've become numb."

She spoke those words of truth and wasn't met with what she thought she would be.

"You're doing it for attention."
"You're always happy, what changed?"

"Ugh, you're so fake."

Why?

Being silent about her problems for so long, she couldn't handle it anymore. Those who she felt safe with, quickly turned on her.

Those she believed to care, swiftly abandoned her.

"Why?"

No answer.

"Why?!"

Silence.

"Why..."

Nobody came.

The silence she heard quickly enveloped her mind.

The silence she felt numbed her of all pain.

The silence she grabbed ended her life.

Empty Sentences

1. I always worry about… Coming home and finding my mom dead, she’s gone and has left me in this world alone. I worry over being alone in the night when I realize that I’m a waste of space. It hurts my heart to think of being abandoned again, and again. I worry about that.
2. I feel angry when… Someone I know and care for is being poorly treated. I feel angry when things are unjust and unfair. We are all human beings, we are all equal. Gender, Skin Tone, Sexuality, Religion… They mean nothing.
3. I’m moody when… The sun quits shining through the clouds. The day feels dreary and empty. I dislike feeling helpless and blanketed by depression.
4. I’m happiest when… I am surrounded by friends and family who care about me, and when I listen to the music I lose myself in. It is a blissful feeling to connect and disconnect from the world around you.
5. I feel confident when… never.
6. I feel frustrated when… I am presented with a task or puzzle I cannot solve. It bothers me, I like being able to get myself out of situations I put myself in, or other people throw me into.
7. I feel depressed when… I realize that my efforts were for nothing, and I become aware of just how worthless I am.
8. I am comfortable when… I am home in my PJ’s and I‘m drawing or playing video games.
9. I feel nervous when… what am I talking about?? I’m always nervous! Anxiety is fun.
10. I feel sentimental when… I look at old photo’s of my family, and re-read old conversations with friends. It makes me remember the times before hell came into my life.